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Well, my New Years resolutions this year were to heal myself socially and physically and I'm sort of getting there. Sorry that I've left a lot of the notes on the cultural thing from my previous journal hanging. I've been having anxiety moments freaking me out till recently- I have read them, and I do appreciate everyone's feed back, I'm just going to wait till next week to get back into that cause I have a little project to get done before the weekend's over
Stuff has been happening though-
Good things:-
It's been REALLY hard to not put my name down for conventions, but I keep reminding myself that I'm not ready for them yet and it seems to calm my urge. This is a BIG something cause I use to do a convention every few months. That's ok if you have the energy to make new things but when you're selling 2 or more year old art and can't do on the spot commissions? Not so great So yeah- I'm being really good about not over taxing myself atleast on that front :3
I'm chatting to people a lot more on Skype than I use to (which was not at all), and I'm slowly getting in touch with a wider group of people that are wanting to connect with me. It's been really good to broaden my friendship range. It's VERY humbling to recognize how many people in my life care so much about me and my well being. And I care about theirs- I've just been too sick to handle both my issues and everyone else's till now. It's been really good with tightening current friendships too. I use to think that no one cared about my dietary requirements I'm having to live with now, but since I started paying attention to others, I realize that most are trying to support me cause they can see how much it affects my well being
It's been properly explained to me now that I'm dairy sensitive (intolerant?), atleast to a certain degree which has been big news cause I've been having cereal in the morning since the beginning of the year thinking I've been doing the right thing when it's one of the reasons I've been so run down. Since stopping having cereal in the morning my energy levels have picked up a lot, and I'm starting to draw again! IT sucks though cause now I need to start having breakfast again, but it's gonna have to be something I cook before I leave for work *sighs* Atleast I know now :/
Drawing in it's self has done a WORLD of wonder to pick up my mood. I'm a lot happier just generally now I'm getting even just sketches onto paper (I'm going through a lot of paper with un finished art >.> ), and although I'm not finishing much, I know I can always go back to it I'm going to update my sketch folder and I have a HUGE stack to go in there! Makes me feel productive finally :3
People around me are being very supportive of me trying to get to bed earlier and although not every night is an 8 hour sleep night, I'm no longer doing the 5 hour nights and it is making a big difference. I think the best I can manage right now is bed time at 11:30pm, but that gives me 7.5 hours of sleep so hopefully my body can get use to this When I get use to this bed time, I'll see if I can scoot it to 11pm and get up earlier for breakfast. I don't think I'll manage the 10pm my homeopath wants me to do. I'm too much of a night owl
Not so good things:-
My mother's twin sister is getting worse as the days go on, and even though I'm handling the ordeal a lot better than I was before I cut out dairy, it's still VERY hard to see my mother dealing with it. She's on an even higher dose of morphine now- I didn't think she could have a higher dose but she is. My father says she could go any day now, and I'm a bit worried cause I'm going to Wellington this weekend, and my father is flying to Australia, and Mum is getting nightmares of going to the funeral alone.
Anyways, so I'm still on chill out mode for now. The research I've been doing is so that I can restart doing PseudoDragon, and this time make a proper job of it. Till now, it has been drawn un scripted, and usually to get me out of health issues rather than as a serious effort. When I restart it though, I plan to make a serious effort, and make it available for print as a decent sized graphic novel. I'm really keen cause a lot of the characters are from stories I've been writing since I was about 11 or 12, and are very dear to me. It'd be REALLY nice to finally get their story out there, even if it's an AU one XD
Anyways- to those of you that have read this far- thank you for sticking by me through all of this. I know that many people have walked out of my life cause of the stress that the IBS has put me through, and it's left me with a lot of guilt that I'm still having to deal with, but knowing that you all have stayed with me despite all of this? It means a lot to me TuT And hopefully I can have a 100% positive journal from now on TuT
Stuff has been happening though-
Good things:-
It's been REALLY hard to not put my name down for conventions, but I keep reminding myself that I'm not ready for them yet and it seems to calm my urge. This is a BIG something cause I use to do a convention every few months. That's ok if you have the energy to make new things but when you're selling 2 or more year old art and can't do on the spot commissions? Not so great So yeah- I'm being really good about not over taxing myself atleast on that front :3
I'm chatting to people a lot more on Skype than I use to (which was not at all), and I'm slowly getting in touch with a wider group of people that are wanting to connect with me. It's been really good to broaden my friendship range. It's VERY humbling to recognize how many people in my life care so much about me and my well being. And I care about theirs- I've just been too sick to handle both my issues and everyone else's till now. It's been really good with tightening current friendships too. I use to think that no one cared about my dietary requirements I'm having to live with now, but since I started paying attention to others, I realize that most are trying to support me cause they can see how much it affects my well being
It's been properly explained to me now that I'm dairy sensitive (intolerant?), atleast to a certain degree which has been big news cause I've been having cereal in the morning since the beginning of the year thinking I've been doing the right thing when it's one of the reasons I've been so run down. Since stopping having cereal in the morning my energy levels have picked up a lot, and I'm starting to draw again! IT sucks though cause now I need to start having breakfast again, but it's gonna have to be something I cook before I leave for work *sighs* Atleast I know now :/
Drawing in it's self has done a WORLD of wonder to pick up my mood. I'm a lot happier just generally now I'm getting even just sketches onto paper (I'm going through a lot of paper with un finished art >.> ), and although I'm not finishing much, I know I can always go back to it I'm going to update my sketch folder and I have a HUGE stack to go in there! Makes me feel productive finally :3
People around me are being very supportive of me trying to get to bed earlier and although not every night is an 8 hour sleep night, I'm no longer doing the 5 hour nights and it is making a big difference. I think the best I can manage right now is bed time at 11:30pm, but that gives me 7.5 hours of sleep so hopefully my body can get use to this When I get use to this bed time, I'll see if I can scoot it to 11pm and get up earlier for breakfast. I don't think I'll manage the 10pm my homeopath wants me to do. I'm too much of a night owl
Not so good things:-
My mother's twin sister is getting worse as the days go on, and even though I'm handling the ordeal a lot better than I was before I cut out dairy, it's still VERY hard to see my mother dealing with it. She's on an even higher dose of morphine now- I didn't think she could have a higher dose but she is. My father says she could go any day now, and I'm a bit worried cause I'm going to Wellington this weekend, and my father is flying to Australia, and Mum is getting nightmares of going to the funeral alone.
Anyways, so I'm still on chill out mode for now. The research I've been doing is so that I can restart doing PseudoDragon, and this time make a proper job of it. Till now, it has been drawn un scripted, and usually to get me out of health issues rather than as a serious effort. When I restart it though, I plan to make a serious effort, and make it available for print as a decent sized graphic novel. I'm really keen cause a lot of the characters are from stories I've been writing since I was about 11 or 12, and are very dear to me. It'd be REALLY nice to finally get their story out there, even if it's an AU one XD
Anyways- to those of you that have read this far- thank you for sticking by me through all of this. I know that many people have walked out of my life cause of the stress that the IBS has put me through, and it's left me with a lot of guilt that I'm still having to deal with, but knowing that you all have stayed with me despite all of this? It means a lot to me TuT And hopefully I can have a 100% positive journal from now on TuT
September update :)
IT's been a while since my last journal / art post, but I'm still around :) Again, I've been very busy on stuff!
The comic that I was talking about in my April journal is still happening, and I'm working on a lot of concept stuff in between everything else, but it's not goign to be ready for convention season in a few weeks time. It's OK thoguh, cause I'm finally finishing off a Captain America comic I started 3 or 4 years ago after Winter Soldier came out!
The comic is pretty small at 5 pages long, but it's been a HUGE boost to my self confidence, because a lot of problems I had with doing the comic on Silvyr was stamina, and my body havin
April catch up :D
Hey guys! How you all doing? I've been super quiet lately cause I've been very busy, and intimidated by my 15K backlog of notifications to get through and putting it off for future Killy's problem. I... kinda need to deal with it XD I know that most of it is deviations to look at so... I really hope I don't resort to mass deleting but I may need to T.T
Anyways, I've been really busy! Since my last journal in early February talking about how I was getting into water colours, I've been doing a lot more water colour art that I haven't posted cause well... I'm learning, and a lot of the pieces aren't going to turn out how I want it to, and that
Water colours
So I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I recently in the last month got into water colour. My friend slugette (https://www.deviantart.com/slugette) recommended a paper that doesn't fight me when I use it and suddenly, water colour art has become fun, and enjoyable :D I honestly thoguth till now that I was just rubbish at the medium and there wasn't any hope for me :)
So, right now I have 3 successful pictures to my name
I'm treating the water colour a bit like copics for now till I get use to using them, but I'm super proud of myself for how these are turning out TuT
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In saying this, I need to do some studies on skin colour cause MAN,
Art goals 2018
I've been super quiet here, cause I've been processing the months since my last journal. I went straight into convention season where I had my second Overload since getting back into conventions, and only cried through half of it before getting the courage to ask people why they weren't buying my art. Finding out it was all stuff I could improve made a huge difference to my emotional health- I think I might get through the next convention without crying :) I then had Armageddon the month later, then Christmas rush happened shortly after, then I went to Hawaii for a holiday and got back 2 days ago... SO BUSY
So the big thing I found out a mon
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Always nice to read positive things.